Ferb Francais
by Rebbeca Tennant
Summary: The gang are on vacation in france and visit the Eiffel Tower while Dr Doofenshmirtz wants revenge on his old french exchange partner, Rosie. note: this was written before the special but have used "the city of love" in the fic.
1. En Probleme

Candace: Ah the city of Paris...the city of loooove..!

Phineas: and the Eiffel tower!

Candace: grr do you mind I was kinda having a moment there!

Phineas: Oh sorry Candace *mimes little hand walking up Eiffel tower humming frere jaque*

Candace: What are you doing?

Phineas: I was just imagining what itd be like to climb the Eiffel tower

Linda: Well kids that is where we are thinking of going today so get ready to go ok Candace?  
Candace: Yeah alright *walks away but turns to the boys pretending to squish there heads with her fingers* Hehe they look so bust-able…

Phineas: Hey where's Perry?

Perry: rides on the back of a French cyclist jumps into "le pothole" and drops into the spy chair*

M: good morning Agent P seems like Dr Doofenshmirtz has been buying a lot of French translation and sarcasm for dummies books. We would say check Canada but seeing that there has also been a shortage of croissants in Paris it looks like he is in your area. Get to the "derriere" of it.  
Perry: *salute*

Phineas: hey Baljeet! Buford! What are you two doing here?

Baljeet: oh hello Phineas and Ferb, I decided to do a project about the history and architecture of the structure. I'm sure as builders you're here for the same reason right?

Phineas: um actually we're just here on holiday

Baljeet: …oh

Buford: and I'm only here cos shrimp had a spare ticket

Baljeet: did you also know that the fireside girls are here too?

Phineas: no way! Where are they?

Baljeet: they're getting their European accent and beret study patches

Ferb: this is very serendipitous

Phineas: yes, yes it is

*Lawrence appears*

Phineas: Hey dad why so glum?

Lawrence: oh boys it seems that the lifts on the Eiffel tower are broken. So unless you want to walk all the way up there by the stairs I'm afraid we cant go up the Eiffel tower today

Baljeet: oh no! Now I can't get to study the architecture of the Eiffel tower!

Buford: and I can't spit off the side and yell Pierre to see if anyone looks round!

Linda: don't worry boys I'm sure you'll have fun doing something else today; your father and I are off to the Lurve to see the Mona Lisa

Candace: and I'm going to do some shopping, y'know something cool away from you two

Linda: big surprise there, bye kids have fun!

Candace: even though ill be gone shopping ill be watching you closely!

Ferb: …*does a walking motion on the Eiffel tower with his hand*

Phineas: …that's it! Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!

Baljeet: may we help in this endeavour?

Phineas: sure! And maybe we can even ask the girls for some help!

Baljeet: *rings up Isabella*

Isabella: *picks up* Bonjour?

Baljeet: hey Isabella

Isabella: Hey Baljeet, que faites-voooous?

Baljeet: Guess who's also here?

Isabella: Phineas is here?

Baljeet: Yeah he's here with Ferb making another contraption for the Eiffel- *sees Isabella right next to him* eep!

Isabella: Can't wait to start!


	2. Coming up Rosie

_DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL EN FRANÇAIS…!_

Doofenshmirtz: *flips through newspaper* urgh no evil news these days…

Perry: *appears disguised as waiter*

Doofenshmirtz: oh waiter erm jer voodays le er…

*whack*

Doofenshmirtz: Zut Alor! Perry le-! ...er hold on *checks French translation * the word platypus isn't in here? Huh…anywho

*traps Perry with a scarf around his neck*

Doofenshmirtz: I bet your wondering why I'm here in France Perry the Platypus especially with this goofy attire on. Well guess what? *gets up close* LE FLASHBACK! Back when I was a boy I went here on a French exchange with my school and met this little French girl called Rosie. She seemed really pretty but she was really a devil in disguise! She was evil…and not in the way I liked! I would try to make her stop but I didn't even know how to! And when I did she was all sarcastic and well…FRENCH about it! So I have come here to seek my revenge on little Rosie with this! It's called the Sarcasm-inator (!) It makes every French mousier, madame and enfant in France less sarcastic! …my inator title is a misnomer y'know a double negative bit like sarcasm itself when you think about it and- don't roll your eyes like that Perry the platypus!

Phineas: *shouts up* thanks for helping Isabella!

Isabella: no prob! We needed astro building badges anyway!

Phineas: *climbs up Eiffel tower working on structure with Ferb* so this is what its like climbing up the Eiffel tower!

Candace: you would have thought in the most romantic city in the world the guys would be hotter…*looks over at Eiffel tower* wait a minute why does the A of the Eiffel tower now spell "AI"? …Phineas et Ferb! Oooh they are so busted!

Phineas: alright everybody in

*gets in*

Phineas: alright first floor Eiffel tower *pushes button and they zoom up Eiffel tower in a millisecond screaming with delight (except Baljeet whos screaming in fear)*

Candace: *sees this* gasp! No way! Im so getting mom!

*stops suddenly*

Baljeet: not feeling so fresh is this glass even safe?

Phineas: don't worry jeet, the glass is made of an alloy that is indestructible

Isabella: hey what are the other buttons?

Phineas: well a lift just doesn't stop at one floor *pushes another button and they shoot up seeing all of france below*

Baljeet: *grips onto buford* meep!

Buford: *whacks him off* do that again and ill give you a chinese burn so bad your eyes will go squinty!

Phineas: hey I can see our country from here!

Ferb: *presses button to go back down to Eiffel tower level*

Baljeet: hey this button says "left"since when does a elevator go left?

Phineas: ah but this isn't any old elevator! *pushes another button and rockets shoot out letting the lift be airbourne* this way we can view Paris from the sky!

Isabella: *sighs lovingly* tres romantique…

Phineas: pardon?

Isabella: oh nothing nothing

_We could share a crêpe sucrée  
At this Parisian café  
Take a break and smell these flowers  
Underneath the Eiffel Tower _

_Won't you share a crème brûlée with me?  
How perfect could this be  
In the City of Love? (in the City of Love)  
In the City of Love (In the City of Love)_

_We could try some fancy cheese  
Or peruse the galleries  
Isn't this a perfect day?  
How do I look in this beret? _

_Oh, how can he not feel the same way  
When we're strolling down the Champs-Élysées  
In the City of Love? (in the City of Love)  
In the City of Love _

_I wish that he would whisper "mon chérie, je t'aime"  
But all he wants to do is try to fix that plane  
In the City of Love (in the City of Love)  
In the City of Love (in the City of Love)  
In the City of Love... (in the City of Love)_

IN THE LURVE

Linda: hmm I didn't imagine her to be so small

Lawrence: at least she's smiling

Candace: mom!

Linda: Candace! Silence sil vous plait it's a museum

Candace: but you've got to see what Phineas and Ferb are doing! They've built a giant elevator next to the Eiffel tower!

Guy: adolescent roux stupide…

Candace: what did he call me?

Linda: alright Candace I'm coming but this better be good


	3. Mom it's a Mime!

Doofenshmirtz: now I need to get up to the very top of the Eiffel tower so I can send the sarcasm-inator transmitter in all directions! …elevator broken? Well im just gonna have to take the stairs! *begins running up stairs*

LATER

Doofenshmirtz: *exhausted* th-that's a..phew! that's a lot of stairs! …perry the platypus how did you escape? And how did you beat me up the stairs?

Perry: *holds up jetpack*

Doofenshmirtz: ugh! I could've used a lift y'know! *snatches jetpack and rockets to top of Eiffel tower with ray in tow* /evil laugh/

Perry: *begins climbing up the Eiffel tower structure*

Doofenshmirtz: hahaha! Nothing can stop me now! *switches on inator*

Isabella: the elevators stopped!

Buford: no duh Sherlock(!)

Phineas: hmm something seems to be interfering with its matrix…oh well we'll just have to absail down *pulls out ropes and buckles*  
*all jump out of elavotor onto Eiffel tower except buford*

Buford: *jumping up and down* this should get it going! Nggh! * floor breaks and he suddenly falls through*

Isabella: *shoots out lasso of rope catching Buford*

Buford: er thanks for that.

*elevator moves down*

Phineas: hey there it goes aint that like that of an elevator huh ferb

Ferb: *nods*

Perry: *makes it up to Doofenshmirtz*

Doofenshmirtz: haha perry the platypus! You are right on time(!) sike! Your too late! Haha that was sarcasm!

Perry: *hits Doofenshmirtz*

*Doofenshmirtz falls down hitting a cream filled pie (French café food) on the way down onto the floor*

Doofenshmirtz: euggh…*licks lips* I taste cream..hey what the-?

*elevator falls on him only leaving glass*

Doofenshmirtz: hey! Hey im stuck in a glass box! *looks at himself* ARGGH! IVE BECOME THE THING I'VE ALWAYS HATED! TOI MAUDIS PERRY LE ORNITHORYNQUE! …wow how'd I know that?

*all of kids absail down onto ground*

Phineas: *sees perry* oh there you are Perry

Candace: *pulling Linda along* alright there!

Phineas: hi mom!

Candace: Theres' the glass elevator! *points at Doof mime in a box*

Linda: oh honey that's just a mime theyre very popular in france

Candace: …but but but..*sigh* c'est la vie….

THE END


	4. Credits

Credits

*everyone around Doofenshmirtz laughing at mime*

Doofenshmirtz: rosie? Hey rosie! *gets out translation book* erm y-your mother was a hamster and your father smelt like doonkle berries no no wait that's the English side erm..

Rosie: *makes heart shape with hands*

Doofenshmirtz: *blushes*…curse you rosie the exchange girl..


End file.
